


The Burden of Power

by kickcows



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Episode Ignis Verse 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 05:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20058955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/pseuds/kickcows
Summary: Noctis wakes up to Ignis having nightmares on an almost daily basis. He confronts him about them, and finds out that Ignis has been keeping things to himself that he should have shared with him.





	The Burden of Power

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my third offering for IgNoct week! :) Please enjoy!
> 
> Prompt: Ignis and Noctis talk about Ignis putting on the ring

* * *

Soft, pained moans pull Noctis from his slumber, becoming somewhat disoriented as he tries to pry his eyes open. Another pained moan sounds near his head, and it’s all he needs to hear to snap into action. He sits up on pure reflex, and brings his hand to his lover’s head, resting his palm gently down on it as he leans over carefully. “Shhh….” He whispers into Ignis’ ear, who is continuing to sound distressed in his sleep, as he repeats the soft suggestion. “You’re alright, Ignis….It’s just a dream….” 

The words usually work at calming down his lover, who has been having nightmares off and on the last few months. He can’t remember if Ignis had been like this prior to his entering the Crystal - the ten years asleep has proven to be somewhat difficult to remember what happened while they had been on their road trip. With that understanding, he feels like these are new, that they weren’t around in the past; he has shared a bed with Ignis for a long time, and these nightmares have to be new. 

“Shh….That’s it….” He whispers, calmly petting his head, as Ignis starts to quiet down, his breathing returning to normal pattern. “You’re safe now, Ignis.” He whispers, as a normal snore leaves his lover’s mouth. 

He stays sitting up, and grabs his tablet off the nightstand. It’s almost half past four in the morning, and half of his brain tells him to try and get more sleep, while the other is fighting to stay awake. These nightmares have become more frequent over the last few weeks, and Noctis isn’t sure why. Ignis seems perfectly fine during the day, and then when they go to bed at night everything seems fine. The last time he got a good night’s sleep was probably when he was still in the Crystal. 

Five minutes before his alarm is set to go off, he sets his tablet on the nightstand and puts his head back down on the pillow. He doesn’t want to worry Ignis about his sleeping habits, when he knows he’s suffering through these nightmares. With him being gone the ten years, he can only imagine what sorts of horrors Ignis must be reliving while he sleeps, which is why he never bothers to bring it up. But maybe it’s time to question him, because he doesn’t seem to be getting better. 

His alarm begins to beep, and with a soft groan he reaches over and turns it off. He feels weight drop down onto his shoulder, and smiles as he brings his lips to Ignis’ forehead. “Morning…” He speaks softly, smiling as he sees Ignis look up at him with a sleepy smile on his face. “Time to get up.” 

“Shouldn’t it be me telling you that?” Ignis asks, as he drapes more of his body over Noctis’, who welcomes him into his arms. “How did our roles reverse?” 

He laughs softly, as he lowers his head to give his lover a good morning kiss. “I guess I did enough sleeping that I wake up with no problem now.” 

“There is that.” The smile on his lover’s face only grows as they enjoy a few more kisses. “I like that I don’t have to force you awake, unlike before when you would fight me to sleep the day away.” 

Noctis smiles, watching Ignis sit up and stretch a little. “You must have me confused with someone else. Surely I didn’t act like that before.” He knows that he did, without a doubt. But it’s fun to reminisce with his lover, who looks at him with narrowed eyes. “What?” 

“You must think I’m an idiot.” Noctis gets up from the bed, and stretches his arms over his head. “Because we both know that all you did was sleep. Time off? Sleep. Bored? Sleep. You looked for _any_ excuse to sleep, Your Majesty.” 

“Ignis, it is too early to be addressed like that. What have I told you?” He walks over to where Ignis is standing, and brings his head to his chest, wanting a proper hug from him. “Call me that later. Right now, I’m not the King.” 

“Right.” Lips touch his hair, as Noctis closes his eyes with a soft sigh. “You’re Noctis - the man who I love with all my heart and soul.” 

“See that you don’t forget it.” Lifting his head, he drops a kiss on Ignis’ lips. “I love you too, Specs.” 

“I’ll go make some coffee and breakfast, while you shower?” Ignis lays another kiss on his lips, before walking around him. “I know I could use a strong cup of coffee.” 

“Oh?” Noctis feigns ignorance. “Did you not sleep well last night?” 

“For the most part I did.” He walks towards the master bathroom, as Ignis goes over to the door. “But it doesn’t feel like I got the best night’s sleep.” 

“Did you have a nightmare?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

Noctis observes how Ignis turns his head as he answers the question, as if he doesn’t want to look directly at him. “Well, coffee will do wonders, I’m sure.” He doesn’t tell him he knows he had one, as he’s been awake since he had to calm him down. _He’ll tell me when he’s ready_. “I’m going to go take a shower, and get ready for the day.” 

“Alright, Noctis.” This time Ignis looks at him and smiles, then heads out of the bedroom. 

With a soft sigh, he closes the door and goes over to the shower to turn the water on. That had been the perfect opportunity for him to say something to Ignis, but the fact that his lover didn’t meet his eyes makes him a little sad that Ignis feels it’s better to not tell the complete truth to him. Deciding that it would do him no good to be upset, Noctis gets undressed and jumps into the shower, putting the last couple of hours behind him for his own sanity’s sake. 

***

“Hey, Gladio?” Noctis looks across at his Shield, who he’s called to his office after sending Ignis away with an errand. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“You just did.” Gladio takes a seat in front of his desk, a grin on his face. “What’s up, Your Majesty? You got a problem that needs some brute strength to deal with it?” 

He snorts, and shakes his head. “Hardly. I think after ten years of dealing with daemons, no one is interested in conflict like that.” Picking up his cup of cold coffee, Noctis brings the mug to his lips, and sighs. “But, that is along the lines of what I wanted to ask you.” 

“Oh? What’s going on?” The shift in his Shield’s demeanor lets him know that Gladio is all business right now. “The daemons aren’t coming back, are they?” 

“What? No.” Noctis takes a sip of his stale coffee, then grimaces a little. “No, I was wondering - while I was….well, you know - gone - did you happen to spend time with both Prompto and Ignis?” 

“Course.” Gladio nods his head. “We spent a lot of time together the first few years, then would make sure to check in with each other every so often. Why?” 

He taps his finger on his desk, and exhales a deep breath. “Did Ignis have nightmares?” 

“Yes.” His finger stops mid-tap, as he looks Gladio in the eyes. “He would have them often. They started after…” 

“After what?” 

His Shield sits back, and looks down a little. “They began after you went into the Crystal.”

Noctis’ stomach drops, the memory of coming out of his coma and racing to Gralea to find Ignis hits him like a ton of bricks. “Something happened, didn’t it?” 

“You were there.” Gladio shakes his head. “Don’t you remember? When we found him? You bargained with the Astrals to save him, but I don’t think that was enough.” 

“Of course I remember.” He leans back in his chair, and sighs. “Finding him in that state - that’s when I knew I was in love with him, and would do anything I could to make sure he remained alive.” 

“Something happened, but he never told either Prompto, or myself, about it.”

“So asking Prompto would be a moot point.” 

“Pretty much.” 

He resumes tapping his finger on the desk, as he tries to think of a solution. “How much of an asshole would I be if I confronted him on these nightmares? Did you guys ever speak to him about them?” 

“No, we didn’t.” His Shield crosses his right leg to rest on his left knee. “He never brought it up, so we both decided that it might be better to follow his lead.” 

Laying his hand flat on the desk, he bows his head. “I’m worried about him, Gladio. The nightmares, or night terrors - I’m not sure what the better word is for them - they seem to be getting worse.” His shoulder drop a little, as he closes his eyes. “I can’t go back to sleep after he wakes me up - he sounds like he’s in so much pain, and it _hurts_.” He whispers, his eyes welling up with tears even with them closed. “It hurts so much.” 

“It probably hurts him more.” Gladio replies softly. “Talk to him, Noctis. If he’s going to open up to anyone, it’s going to be you.” 

“Then why hasn’t he spoken to me about it already?” 

They look at each other, Noctis not bothering to wipe away the few tears that slide down his cheeks. Gladio had seen him in a worse state before, so a few tears shouldn’t bother him. The look of sadness in his eyes brings that awful feeling to his gut. “I don’t know, Your Majesty.” 

“Neither do I.” 

***

The nightmares happen again two days later, and the following day after that. Each time, Noctis can’t go back to sleep, no matter the time that they take place. When Ignis wakes up that morning, Noctis doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s been awake for the past three hours, because Ignis’ nightmares this time decided to happen closer to two in the morning. 

“Noctis?” The confusion in Ignis’ voice makes his heart ache a little. “Is everything alright? Why are you awake already?” 

He slides back down, his head now resting on his pillow as he looks over at his lover. “Your nightmares wake me up, and I have to calm you down from whatever is plaguing your mind.” The truth pours out of him, as he speaks quietly. “I usually can’t get back to sleep after they happen.” 

“My….” Noctis sees Ignis’ complexion become slightly paler, as he knows his lover cannot deny it this time. “How long has this been a thing?” Ignis asks. 

“I don’t know - you tell me.” Figuring there is no reason to back down now, Noctis keeps his eyes on Ignis. “I assumed it was because of something that happened while I was gone, but I don’t think that’s it.” 

“You would be correct.” His lover closes his eyes, as he takes a deep breath. “They’ve been a problem since I put on the Ring of Lucii.” 

Of _course_ it would have to go back to his ancestors, and how they know what’s best for him. “They spoke to you, didn’t they?” 

“Yes.” Ignis nods his head. It becomes apparent that he’s under duress by having to talk about this, so Noctis reaches for his hand under the blanket. It seems to be enough for his lover, and soon he’s got both of his arms around him, Ignis’ head tucked under his chin. “It was foolish. I know it was foolish, but I couldn’t let him do something to you.” 

He didn’t have to ask who, knowing full well who it was that caused Ignis to make a decision that no doubt had horrible consequences. If these nightmares have been plaguing Ignis for the last ten years, he can only imagine what sorts of mental torture he had to endure by harnessing power that should have only been his to bear. 

Holding him close, Noctis mulls over what he wants to say, as he knows that this isn’t easy for Ignis to discuss. “What are your nightmares about?”

“They aren’t so much nightmares, as they are me reliving what happened during that fight with Ardyn.” The body against his presses impossibly closer, Noctis holding him a little bit tighter. “I had to make a sacrifice.” He knows better than to ask, as Ignis will tell him when he’s ready. It’s quiet for about five minutes, then he hears him whispers, “In my nightmares, I keep the sacrifice I made - I lose my eyesight.” 

Noctis remembers what Ignis had looked like when they found him in Gralea - his arm almost incinerated, much like the way Ravus’ arm had been when he tried to put on the ring. Ravus had warned Noctis that if Ignis had done what he thinks he had done, then there was no telling what state they would find him in. Those elemental scars had faded as he told the Gods that he would do what was asked of him, and he figured that that would be it for Ignis. But he forgets that with this immense power, there are repercussions to be dealt with. 

“That’s not all, either.” Ignis continues, as Noctis rocks him gently in his arms. He doesn’t realize he’s swaying until he hears Ignis release a soft sob. “I always knew you were powerful. I knew that the Gods had made sure that the Caelums had an enormous amount of power on their side - both with magic, and with physical prowess.” He feels Ignis shift in his arms again, and looks down into his reddened eyes. “I _wish_ I could have kept that power. It was-” 

“You don’t want it.” He stops Ignis from finishing his thought. “No matter what you may think, you do _not_ want what I have. Don’t you remember how much I didn’t want it? I still don’t.” Noctis puts his hand on Ignis’ face. “They were kind enough to let you experience it without killing you, or permanently damaging you.” 

“But I _am_ permanently damaged, Noctis.” Green eyes stare up at him with more sorrow held within them than Noctis is used to seeing. “These nightmares - I don’t think they’re ever going to go away.” 

“They will.” Noctis refuses to believe that Ignis will suffer these for the rest of his life. 

“It’s been ten years.” 

“They _will_.” He says with more force, as he keeps his eyes on Ignis’. “You helped me make my choice - it wasn’t forced upon me, like it would have been if you hadn’t made this sacrifice for my benefit.” Noctis’ eyes blaze with anger, not at his lover but at the cruel way the Gods continue to treat them. “I did what They wanted, and you’re telling me you’re still suffering? Unacceptable.” 

“I’m not sure what can be done, Noctis. I’m always going to carry the memory of what that power felt like.” Ignis replies, his eyes closing as Noctis slides his fingers down to rest underneath his ear. “I’m never going to be strong enough to keep you safe. I won’t have absolute power.” 

He brings his forehead to Ignis’, and feels his eyes beginning to prickle with tears. “Don’t say that.” He whispers, shaking his head. “You are the strongest person I know. You don’t need that boost from my ancestors. You were strong enough before it, and continue to be strong.” 

“How can you be so confident, when I know what it feels like to have the power of the Lucian royal line in my body?” 

“You had it last night.” He smirks, trying to lighten the mood, and the grunt that his lover releases lets him know that it was the right choice. “You will always be the strongest person that I know. These memories - yes, you’re going to have them for the rest of your life, but they shouldn’t make you feel any less of a person. Your strength is what gives _me_ strength, Ignis.” 

Waiting with bated breath, he exhales as he feels Ignis’ lips touch his with a soft kiss. “I would do it all over again, because you’re here with me now because of it.” Ignis whispers against his lips, as Noctis clings tight to him. “You are my love, and the reason I keep going.” 

“Talk to me, then.” Noctis returns his lips to Ignis’, kissing him with a soft reverence. “Please, Specs. We can’t keep secrets from each other - especially not ones that have a direct effect on me. On the both of us.” 

“I know. I’m sorry, it was poor judgement on my part.” Ignis rubs his nose against his. 

“You never talked to Gladio and Prompto about it either, but I know that they know you have nightmares.” 

He bites his bottom lip as he hears Ignis sigh. “You’re right. I should have spoken to them. They probably could have helped me, but I’ve got too much pride.” 

“We all do.” Noctis holds Ignis tight against him. 

“When it happens again, please - wake me up? I want to know that you’ll fall back asleep too.” Ignis hugs him back with equal pressure. “I don’t like knowing you’re losing sleep because of me.” 

“Remember - I spent ten years asleep. I think I’ve slept long enough.” He chuckles, but nods his head. “I will, Ignis. You have my word.” 

“Thank you.” 

They kiss a few more times, then pull apart with loving smiles on both of their faces. “I’ll go make us some coffee?” Ignis suggests, as they get out of bed together. “Cook us some breakfast?” 

“Sounds great.” It’s back to their normal routine, which Noctis is grateful for. 

He knows that it took a lot for Ignis to admit to him what’s been plaguing him all of this time, and he recognizes that there’s going to be more times when he’ll need to be the stronger one for the both of them. They will both continue to have these painful memories - memories that will linger on longer than either of them would like, but they have each other. The path that Ignis chose for himself ultimately helped the two of them get to this point with one another, and for that he will forever be grateful to the love of his life for making that sacrifice without a second thought. Calming him through these episodes is the least he can do for him, and now that he knows the truth - he will make certain that his lover knows how grateful he is to still be here with him, rather than having to make the sacrifice himself. He would have died a million times over if it meant the world would carry on. 

Noctis would do anything for Ignis, and now is very aware that his lover feels the exact same way. They will get through this together. 


End file.
